The Case of the Missing Cabinet Latch

Last week, I somehow misplaced half of the latch system on the cabinet under the kitchen sink, rendering it useless. You have the same cabinet at your house – you know, the one filled with Windex and Mop & Glow and rat poison and other tempting treats. I tried securing it with another thing, but kid knows how to take that one off so it didn’t last long. I tried tempting him away from it, blocking it with myself while trying to do dishes, whatever it took.

Except once he knew it was open season, that’s all THAT took.

Eventually, after checking under every appliance, every nook, most of the crannies and even the bathroom, I came to the conclusion that either I threw it out somehow, which would be dumb because I never take it off of the handles when I unlatch it, or the kid has gotten very sneaky.

I developed a temporary replacement by jamming the two different latches together to tide me over until I could go return a baby gate at the big box store that welcomes all types of people. And I mean aaaaaalllll types of people. That baby gate did not live up to my sneaky baby standards, either.

I returned the useless gate and discovered that while I had paid $5 elsewhere for ONE latch, this certain store sold them in a two pack. FOR $4. BRING IT ON.

Upon our return, to my delight and little boy’s dismay, I re-secured the poisonous materials cupboard.

Two days later, I find the missing piece. In the vegetable crisper.

I guess it just wanted to chill out, har har.

NO BUT SERIOUSLY. Was I that big of a @!%^#!# space cadet last week that I put a CABINET LOCK in the $@^@!# REFRIGERATOR!?

I want to blame the kid, I really do, but I think I only have myself to blame here.


I switched out the latch from the new one back to the old one since the old one was easier to snap apart since it had been used. I went to put the new one back with its twin in the junk drawer when SURPRISE!

I found out that I had originally bought a two pack. Not a single. Meaning I wouldn’t have had to buy another set, I wouldn’t have had to venture into Mullet Warehouse AND I could have solved the situation immediately instead of trying to find unsuccessful temporary solutions.

But if you think I’m going BACK to Mullet Warehouse to return $4 worth of merchandise….well. You must not know me very well.

I’m cheap but not stupid.

Unless it comes to putting things in the veggie drawer.

9 thoughts on “The Case of the Missing Cabinet Latch

  1. I’m with ya. I call the extra few cents we pay on every grocery item the “I Don’t Have to Go to Walmart Tax.” And I’m okay with that.

  2. Nanny says:

    Believe me this won’t be the last time something that crazy happens. But anything to keep your little “super snoop” away from the cleaning junk is worth the trip even if it is to Walmart.

  3. Yeah, having kids makes you stoopid. Keep an eye on your hair… you might start growin’ one of dem dere mullets!

    Honestly, I used to have to feel my toothbrush periodically to see if it was wet. I couldn’t remember having done the simplest things…

  4. fadingsunlight says:

    This reminds me of a story from a few months ago… I have two debit cards; one for my checking and one for my school/student aid monies. The later was depleted, so I removed it from my wallet to avoid that, “Duh.” moment when you swipe the wrong card at the store, it’s declined and the cashier gives you that, “This isn’t Mullet Warehouse…” look. We were in the middle of a move, too, and I remember thinking specifically, “I need to put this somewhere safe and somewhere that it won’t get lost in the fray…” We moved and Summer semester started; I needed said debit card. I searched everywhere and frantically typed out an FB status asking my dear friends where they would look – openly fishing for ideas. One reply came in, “Up your @&%, up your SO’s @$%…” etc.. I hated her snarky reply, but dang it…she was pretty close; I found it in my underwear drawer 15 minutes later. >.<

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