How To: @#$!% Elf on the Shelf

You don’t.

He’s @#^%!@# creepy.

And you’re as lazy as me, admit it.

You’d forget about him in three days.

The End.

He's not only watching your kids. He's watching you.

He’s not only watching your kids. He’s watching you.




14 thoughts on “How To: @#$!% Elf on the Shelf

      • fadingsunlight says:

        Hmmm, while “Elfie’s” kidnapping may sound like a perfectly valid excuse for a trip to the other side of the country, I bought the kids’ Christmas presents so I’m hosed on travel funds. However, I will add that it showed up days ago and have yet to see any clever photos of him. This leads me to believe that she, too, is as lazy as you and I! πŸ˜›

  1. Lol! Amen, sister! I thought about it for roughly ten seconds before I realized he’s creepy and a lot of work. I tell my kids to be good because I am watching them – not a zombie doll sent from Santa.

    • I still give those a good side eye, though they are pretty funny. BUT those people have too much time on their hands and clearly do it for their own amusement, not the child’s. Because, seriously, they wouldn’t let their kid see the elf on a stripper pole or snorting powdered sugar off a mirror, right? RIGHT?!

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