The Cons of (Temporary) (Military-Related) Single Parenthood

Clearly, things could be harder. I could always be a single parent. But I’m not. I have pride in my husband who has chosen an important career even if it means he is away from home several months at a time. Even then, I know it could be three to four times longer than that. I’ve accepted this as OUR situation, both before and after we had a kid. And obviously, there will be more cons than pros, I’m not heartless. But there are, in fact, a few pros. We’ll get to those tomorrow. PROS

Quite honestly, I’m used to this routine, I’m happy to find good moments where good moments lie. And while things change (i.e. get ridiculously harder) as the kid grows, you just gotta MAN UP and roll with the punches. Even if you just want to punch yourself in the boob sometimes.

So on with the CONS:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: changing the sheets is the worst.

You better fricking like what you cook for dinner because you’ll be eating it for days. It was different last year when kid was eating baby food and I could still fall back on my well-honed cooking for one skills. But it’s so much different this time around. Trying to keep his culinary mind open, I fed him fish this weekend but I don’t eat fish so instead of cooking two totally separate meals I ate the remnants of a can of cashews. And if you DO cook something you can both eat? Without my Hoover vacuum husband eating his share there are literally leftovers for days.

Sleeping in on Saturday? You have no one to beg to take over morning duty. You go to the gym instead. Which is probably a Pro, but shit does it feels like a Con. Luckily, you didn’t stay up until 4 am getting drunk and playing Rock Band.

GOD, SO LONELY. Rock Band is horribly boring by yourself. 

I have to park in the street. Big A’s precious car gets the driveway and a fitted cover while I am banished to the street. BUT this cancels out because the tree next to the driveway is filled with the shittiest and most digestive-problem-ridden birds this world has ever seen. Better they shit on his car cover than my car, saving time every week cleaning that diarrhea off so it doesn’t violate my lease with a shredded clear coat.

Also, I have to take out the trash, which whatever. Pull the bins to the curb, bring them back the following afternoon. But after last year’s INSECT ATTACKS and the fact it’s rained every $%!@# trash day since he left…fuck the garbage. And the recycling. 

Did I mention the heart-wrenching loneliness yet? 

Or the never-ending kid dealings? Because I have to do EVERYTHING for this little snot monster. 24/7/365/allday/err’day 


I’m undecided if it’s worse now than it was last year at this time. The difference between a 10-month old and a 22-month old is pretty significant. As frustrating as he can be, I think it’s a little easier (and I stress a little) this time around. Our routines are more set, he can more or less tell me what he wants vs. what he doesn’t and I’m relatively less concerned about his eating than I was at this time last year. But he’s still getting those terrible two tantrums and that makes Mama wish crate training was approved for children.

Like I said, I get that it could totally be worse. And in the coming weeks I’m sure I’ll find a few (read: a ton) more cons. But it still doesn’t make it easy.

BUUUUUT there are good things! Just not today.


8 thoughts on “The Cons of (Temporary) (Military-Related) Single Parenthood

  1. I live in a military town, and I never cease to be amazed by the strength of the moms (and dads) who are essentially left to their own devices with their kids when their spouses are deployed. You guys have gonads of steel.

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