Things I’ve Learned from Pinterest

Pinterest is…really something. There are a few awesome things. There are a few things that will make you go hmmm. But then there are atrocious things that should have never seen the light of day and the person responsible for them should be locked in a basement and given lotion in a basket made of an old t-shirt.

In Lieu of Cupcakes and Friends – Send these monstrosities to school with your poor kid.

Here is what I know thanks to dedicated pinners:

Everyone is getting married. EVERYONE.

People like things in jars. Cookies in jars, candles in jars, soup in jars, cottage cheese in jars, flowers in jars, DVDs in jars. You $^!%ing name it, you %&#! put it in a jar. And then Pin It.

People like alcohol soaked items. Like gummy bears. Or strawberries. Or more alcohol. Actually, Pinners just @$^@ love to imbibe. Period.

People like all things red velvet. ALL THINGS. I’m not even going to expound on this one further, because I already have and I fear tossing my cookies. THAT ARE NOT RED VELVET.

This pin led me to create a board entitled: OH GOD, THE HORROR.

Everyone thinks they are Martha Stewart. EVERYONE. Newsflash: NO.

People like cheese. You could take anything and cover it in cheese and people would pin it. Twigs? Bark? Tires? Cover them in cheese! FIBER! CHEESE! FIVE BILLION PINNERS AGREE!

People like buffalo chicken but ONLY when it isn’t actually buffalo chicken. Wraps, casseroles, pancakes. Buffalo. I have yet to see an actual wing recipe, but I’ve seen every variation on the damn flavor.

Everyone loves cake (and therefore everything Cake Batter flavored), yet…

Everyone is on a diet.

WTF IS DUMP CAKE AND WHY DOES EVERYONE GO SHIT BALLS CRAZY FOR IT?? See Also: Garbage Bread. Filed under things with unfortunate monikers.

I just…I don’t know. I’ve gotten a few decent ideas, but man. Sometimes I question the future of humanity with the pins I see. There should be a rule that if you pin it, you should have to do it. I would love to see ALL THE RESULTS of that. Mine included.

Now spill it – what have you learned from Pinterest? Anything I should add to my board of horrors?