Food for Faceholes: Keto Friendly Cheesecake Cupcakes


I had a bunch of friends who wanted this shit, so I figured this was the best way to post it. I haven’t blogged in over two years, but here we are. I’m not going to write a whole history of these cupcakes, how they inspire me, how they make me feel when I eat them, how they remind me of a very specific moment in my childhood that I can explain to you in elaborate detail.

Dudes, I feel nothing about these cupcakes except annoyance because I have to make them twice a week. I rarely even eat them.

I’m not even going to post a picture of them. Here’s the $^%$#! recipe:


Keto Cheesecake Cupcakes

2 Tbsp butter, melted
3/4 cup almond flour
pinch of salt
cinnamon (optional)

2 bricks of cream cheese (16 oz)
2 eggs
3/4 cup sweetener
2 tsp vanilla (or more, I add more)

Here We Go!

Line 10 holes in your muffin tin. Combine butter, almond flour, and salt. Divide evenly into lined cups. Press firmly into the bottom to form crust.

Combine cream cheese, eggs, sweetener, and vanilla until smooth and creamy. Fill each cupcake liner evenly.

Bake at 375* for 17-20 minutes.

Let cool before refrigerating.



Chocolate Crust: Add 2 Tbsp of cocoa powder to crust mixture.

Mint: Reduce vanilla to a splash, add mint extract to taste (1-2 tsp).  Great with chocolate crust!

Orange: Reduce vanilla to a splash, add orange extract to taste (1-2 tsp). Also good with chocolate crust!

Lemon: Reduce vanilla to a splash, add about 1/8 cup of lemon juice (more ruins the consistency) and the zest of half of a lemon. I like to simmer blueberries with a little water and sweetener to make a topping for this one! You could use extract like the mint and orange, but I haven’t tried it.

Key Lime: I haven’t mastered this one yet, so this is on you. Also key limes are a bitch to juice so if my husband wants this one, he has to do the work. I’ve made it with regular limes using the lemon variation, but apparently the key limes make a difference and my husband hates zest, so I dunno, man.


TA FREAKING DA!! Keto friendly cheesecakes, y’all! You’re on a diet!


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