The Military Spousal Guide for Changing Sheets During Deployments

Dear Military Spouses (also Long-Distance Relationshippers, Spouses of Business Travelers, etc):

I don’t know about you, but I hate changing sheets alone. It ranks #3 on my list of Things I Hate During Deployments.

#1 is everything breaking all the time. Seriously.

#2 is changing the duvet. That shit’s hard, yo. I usually get lost in the corner and have to take a nap before I can tunnel my way back out. Plus, no one can fluff like my husband.


ANYWAY. After a recent sheet change, it occurred to me. I could change sheets half as often. But not be twice as gross. It’s so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. PLUS it’ll help the mattress wear and tear.

I’m just going to switch sides.

When it’s time to change the sheets F it. I’m rolling over to the empty side.


Maybe the cat will give me more room over on that side, too. He’s been trying to bully me out of my side for weeks.

That's a King Size Bed, y'all.

That’s a King Size Bed, y’all. With a Crouching Tiger.


What can I say? I’m a genius.


6 thoughts on “The Military Spousal Guide for Changing Sheets During Deployments

    • I love that – after Jo’s arrival, seriously like 12 hours after getting home, I kept saying things like “WE HAVE TO RE-GROUT THE TUB!!” “BAH! WE SHOULD MOVE THE FRIDGE AND CLEAN BEHIND IT!”

      It was at this stage in my marriage I received my first threat of divorce.

  1. There’s only one thing worse than changing the sheets and that’s changing the sheets on an RV bed. Nightmare! No sympathy. Kidding. Love your solution and your laser eyed cat.

  2. Clean Sheet Day is my favorite day of the week. But it’s always by myself, unless I want to wait around for Hubs to step up with that duvet. He literally puts it inside out over his head and I give him the corners of the comforter, then I pull it right-side out over him. I think it’s ridiculous but he thinks it’s a great idea.

    That cat scares me. I don’t know if he’d let you change sides…

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